working it out.

Writing

2010-07-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

I think I have the opposite of writers block. There's too much. Not things to put on here. Personnal things. I just don't kow how to get it all out! It's swimming around up there and attacking me at night! Mind you, if i'm getting attacked during the night i'm sure glad it's with my own mind-words.

and another thing

2010-06-26T16:13:00.000-07:00

some truths.
some days are still unbelievably hard.
last night when devons necklace got ripped off in the SNFU pit, i thought i'd lost it, and it felt like losing him all over again.
it's amazing that in my life i've lost countless items- eyeglasses, wallets, phones, and never given them a second thought. this necklace though- a nut from a cymbal on a chain, is my most valued posession.

i really have to figure out where the fuck i need to be living now too.

nerd alert!!!!

2010-06-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

sooo, this one time i lost my iphone, which was worth about 500 dollars.
then i cried.
the end.

alternative ending:
sooo then i got it back from a random stranger by meeting him in the dodgiest alley in vancouver (behind the carnegie) but it was busted.
then i cried.
the end.

alternativer ending:
sooo then the home button was broken, and i thought my phone had become a pretty paper weight but i found out if a jailbroke it and downloaded a program i might be able to salvage it.
and 6 hours later...
totally did.

i learned all sorts of things about jailbreaking and restoring, and springboards and eventually- nerd girl to the recue- i did it! and minus some sweet photos and special text messages (yes, those do exist), my phone is BETTER than it was before.

whatta a great ending.

the end.

for reals.

He Wolf.

2010-05-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

i don't even know...

AW SHIT... HERE WE GO.

2010-05-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

so, in a nutshell- north korea may or may not have torpedoed a south korean warship and killed 46 people.

(so not cool, north korea...or whoever actually did it. rumours that it was an american ship are out there too...)

that clearly pissed south korea off, so they've taken all sorts of nasty pre war measures against north korea including halting transport and trade and using these to shout propaganda across the border.

and you know why all this is happening? THIS GUY.

...

really?

GAGA'S GOING DOWN. (notinagoodway)

2010-05-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

GET OUTTA MY FACE, GAGA.

i can't sleep.

for the first time in my life.

i shouldn't complain- i know. for years and years I've heard friends complain of painfully long nights, and sleepy days.

i didn't get it-until now.

why is it, that in months when i am physically and mentally exhausted, I'm not sleeping?

me- the girl who falls asleep mid party?! mid drink? mid conversation?

last night i woke up from a glorious 2 hours of sleep to a full volume dance-party/lady gaga karaoke session/rooftop deck rave. it was as ugly as it sounds.

it was the rudest awakening since i was 21 and woke up to a sharpie cock on my face and pearl jam quotes on my ass.

anyway- I'm officially going to try melatonin, i hear it works wonders. and exercise.

and speaking of sharpies, look what these creative cats did with theirs!

get it? they're MASKS.

ooooooh.

idk wtf this is, but i made it.

2010-05-16T16:12:00.001-07:00

Etymologically Speaking...

2010-05-16T09:31:00.000-07:00

I just "stumbled" onto this sweet word origins website and decided that my favourite word today is defnitely Berserk. (AKA: Bear shirt) (yes!)

Berserk most likely comes from the Old Icelandic "berserkr," meaning "bear shirt." This refers to Scandinavian warriors who wore, quite literally, bear shirts which they thought would render them invincible. I believe the Icelandic term evolves from Scandinavian, "bjorn sherkr," but I am not sure.

I have no way of verifying this info- but i want so badly to believe it's true!

The Nature, 2010

2010-05-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

A few photos from a jaunt to beautiful porteau cove.

Working It Out

2010-05-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

Never has the name of this blog been so appropriate as now.
I lost a dear friend two weeks ago, and I am struggling.
I'm struggling with missing him,
with understanding why things happened the way they did,
with living.
without him.
struggling to fill the hole in my heart left by his absence.

Now, if that sounds hopelessly depressing, it has been
but i am making progress.
working through it.
seeing blips of light and love in this darkness.

the tears still come in waves.
tsunami waves of emotion.
of love.
of despair.
of longing.
of emptiness,
of
of
of...

i miss you too, devon.

Financial Woes...Woah!

2010-04-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

The way i see it, I've never been that great with money. It has always fallen in the same category as THINGS. I lose things. Easily and often, because I truthfully just see them as stuff (a. Unspecified material, or b)Worthless objects). This is both good (because i am not attached to material things) and terribly bad, (because sometimes the stuff i lose is very important to other people). The common theme here though, is a lack of aknowledgement of VALUE. To me, money is just money and there will always be enough one way or another, and THINGS are completely replaceable, because there will always be enough money, somewhere somehow to replace the things I have lost. I have often lost things, because I don't acknowledge their value.
Wasteful cycle.
I'm getting to the bottom of it slowly though.

MISTAKES MISTAKES MISTAKES
When i was a kid, we didn't have a lot of money- so when I got my first job at 16- all I could think of was spreading the wealth with friends that didn't have it- because i knew how it felt to want. it also felt great to be able to help someone else- even if it meant i was left wanting again before long.

When i went traveling, i'd run out of money, and max out my $500 limit credit card. i'd randomly keep trying it even though i knew it should be maxed, but it kept working. Unbeknownst to me, my grandparents were getting the bills back home, and paying off the card. They were trying to help, but it just strengthened that belief that money will always come from someone/somewhere when needed. No value.

Then i went to school, with help from EI. No student loans, just a minimal line of credit to help with odds and ends that EI didn't pay for- When school was done and it was time to pay off my line of credit- Grandma and grandpa, I'm embarrassed to say, decided to pay it off for me. How could i say no? Did I mention they also helped me buy me first vehicle, a scooter, and then bought be a brand new car for school.
I was spoiled financially and it has ruined my outlook on money and how one ought to be with finances.

Making more money hasn't helped either. I have just bought whatever i wanted. because i have money in RSP's, and give to charity, i've lied to myself about my financial situation-in reality if I lost my job tomorrow, i'd be screwed if I didn't find a job straight away! there is no "emergency fund" for mortgage payments and bills.

I am airing this dirty laundry because i am making a vow to do something about this. No more eating out 4 times/week. no more buying all organic groceries. no more shopping for new must have clothes. or thrift shopping for that matter. I HAVE SO MANY CLOTHES. SOOOOOO MANY CLOTHES.

Truthfully- I don't even KNOW where all my money goes! (Not gonna lie- beer probly plays a role in this mystery) So it is my first responsibility to write these things down.

wish me luck.

The Life I Can Save?

2010-04-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

I recently read a book recommended to me by my longtime friend Nathan. He's really a wonderful human being and sometimes he has interesting things to say, or at least can direct you to someone elses interesting things.
The book he recommended is about donating to charity. Specifically the who, what when where why and how of charitable donations. It is called "The Life You Can Save", written by Peter Singer.

There it is! I signed a pledge today. Through their website To donate at least 1% of my income this year. Believe me, it's not a lot, and hopefully it will do some good in this world. Just a lil bit. :)
I've decided to donate the rest of this years quota to The Central Asia Institute. I'm not gonna lie, i think their name sounds dodgy- but it's a wonderful charity. Greg Mortensen ('Stones into Schools') And his team are truly shaping the future of Pakistan and Afghanistan by building schools in remote central asian areas

"Peace and Hope Begin With Education: One Child At A Time

Central Asia Institute is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization with the mission to promote and support community-based education, especially for girls, in remote regions of northern Pakistan and Afghanistan. "
- Central Asia Institute

I dig it.

Guess Who finally Drank The Olympic Punch?

2010-02-25T16:40:00.000-08:00

Well, well well. Look who's back after a month of hellish work weeks, ACTUAL weekends off, and whole lotta 180 degree opinions on the Olympics. I've done it. i drank the punch and I liked it. i liked it so much that not only do i want more, i readily admit how wrong i was to doubt it's incredible qualities, and even urge others to have a drink.
The crowds... are incredible. Everyone is happy, and wonderfully foreign. People are using transit, and one can only imagine that once they realize how easy it was they will continue to ride it. The streets look cleaner than ever each morning after looking like crap the night before. Pubs are everywhere. People of all backgrounds are on the same Canadian team, and proudly wearing their Canadian colours. I've witnessed the best hockey playing of my life, and we're not even at the Gold Medal game yet.
It HAS cost a lot of money, and most likely, after the olympics, financial support for sport will dwindle once again, and no one will care until we do poorly in medal counts in 2014 (Sochi!). Sad but true. I'll put money on it.
I have taken VERY few photos of my olympic wanderings, but here are a couple:
Me at Grouse: (I randomly decided to spend an afternoon helping out up there... they REALLY didn't need me but it was beautiful)

Me being HI-larious with Kevin:

The flame, in all it's Glory at The convention centre. (there was a 45 min line to see it up close. I passed. )

Me ~~trying~~ failing to make a heart out of my olympic mitts

That's really it in a nutshell.

Some other things that have been on my mind as of late.
Eva
Sewing
Baking
Babies
Love
Love
Love
Family
New Westminster! I love my city!
Now back to Eva.

She was not doing very well for awhile there, and everyday i check her blog, hoping to read that her pager has gone off and she's getting the transplant. She posted this post o n Feb 11th saying she was near the end of the road. it broke my heart, but opened it and the same time. i'm not the only one. Since then there have been literally thousnds of posts in support of her and her loved ones.
Anyhow, I'll post more about the other things another day.
xox

...ON LOSING MY EVERYTHING

2010-01-18T08:19:00.000-08:00

i have a serious problem. i am a perpetual loser... of things. i am a trusting individual, and tend to leave my things unattended in places i shouldn't.
i'm especially amazing at losing 2 things: my glasses, and my wallet.
i usually get them back, but not this time. my wallet was stolen from a pub in abbotsford, and i'm absolutely sure i'm not getting it back.
it's really sad for me. i can't even imagine finding a wallet and NOT returning it to its rightful owner. WHAT IS WRONG with the person who found mine?! seriously! she needs her head examined. (i say "she" with certainty because i left my wallet in the ladies washroom)
i know it's completely my fault that i'm now without any id, banks card/visa/discount cards, but i can't help but be a little angry that anyone would be so dishonest.
i guess i need to grow up.
bah.

i should mention though, that the rest of the evening was wonderful; filled with great food, and amazing friends.
xox

how much is enough?

2010-01-18T08:06:00.000-08:00

i gave what i can afford to the redcross to help the relief efforts in haiti. a measly hundred bux. i know every dollar helps, i really know that, so why don't i feel good about helping? because i'm not there?
giving money just doesn't seem like enough. if i give more money will i feel better about what i'm doing for them?
it may be the whole "helping the masses" concept- where they say people are more likely to donate to a cause if they can put a face to the person they are helping...
i am experiencing this lack of connection with these people for the first time. i assume other people are feeling this as well, and hope that they are not a lot less likely to donate.
THAT'S ALL FOR NOW...

afghanistan

2010-01-11T11:17:00.000-08:00

i have nothing intelligent to say on this matter, other than i've come to a new personnal level of sadness regarding afghanistan, and our involvment over there. i work in news and am therefore very aware of each canadian soldier who loses their life. i see the pain of their families in each repatriation ceremony.
when i started my job, in local tv news 3 years ago, the canadian death toll in afghanistan was 78. as of today, it's 138. we report on a lot of ugly things, but most of the time i am able to filter it out.
not any more. each time i hear of another i.e.d. taking a soliders life, i am overcome with sadness and tears for their families. for the tragedy of young lives lost. it's been 9 years since the taliban regime fell, and 8 years since canadas ever increasing role in afghanistan started taking lives. harper has called for most candian soldiers to be out of afghanistan by 2011- which is a relief to me. i am curious to hear the thoughts of the soldiers themselves. will they be happy to come home? satisfied with canadas role in building a democratic afghan nation?

on losing my eye glasses

2010-01-10T16:02:00.001-08:00

the funny thing about losing your glasses, is that it's especially hard to find them again, being at a loss of sight and all...
ha.

rad chick i've never met.

2009-12-28T09:36:00.000-08:00

i've been too busy to write. the weird thing is, the busy times are actually the most important times to write and reflect. a forced slow down. when i say busy- i mean that in the most wonderful way. "busy" celebrating life and love with friends and family. "busy" eating holiday meals and cookies. (nom nom) "busy" spending time with as many people as i can while they have some time off. "busy" enjoying my cozy home and the crisp sunny days.
i am so so so thankful (read, VERY thankful) for my friends and family. for love. for my health and theirs.
You know you're healthy when you are not thinking about your body. right?i vividly remember being 10 years old and stuck in a full leg cast for 6 months- i remember promising myself that once i was better i would appreciate my healthy leg, and the lack of pain each time i moved it. i was young! how was i to know it's almost impossible to take time every day and appreciate your body? that is, until i started reading this blog.

this woman is not only an inspiration to me, she's an inspiration to people across the globe. i'm not going to try to tell her story here, she does it far more eloquently- just read a little bit of her blog and you will see why i have become passionate about organ donation, and why i, who has never been religious, tried praying for her. i know- it's ridiculous- for so many reasons. most of all though-if there is a god- wouldn't he be pissed at me for not talking to him for 28 years and then asking for a huge favour for a stranger? or maybe not, because he's supposed to be god right? so he'd know that praying for eva is totally worth it. if her blog comments read true he's already heard about her.
this is ridiculous, but i would do just about anything to help this chick get lungs. i even wondered if i could survive with just half my lungs and give her my other half. this is apparently not an option. i checked.
anyhow, her heart shines right through her blog, and although i've never met her, i think she should be knighted or something for being awesome.
ps: are you an organ donor? unless it's against your religion (i'm pretty sure god doesn't actually care btw)please go here and check to see if you are registered or need to register.
mmmkay?

A LIL CHRIS HASLAM LOVE

2009-11-04T16:17:00.001-08:00

god bless movember

2009-11-02T08:09:00.000-08:00

This is pretty much my favourite month of the year. I love moustaches, and every November, my moustache envy grows to massive proportions.
Yes, some are funny,

some are just plain nasty,

but you gotta love the classic:

Ooooh, if i was a man... i would DEFINITELY participate in the greatest prostate cancer awarness fundraiser ev-er. How great is it that you can grow a dirty stache and wear it to work with pride in the nam of prostate cancer research?!

Here is the info on "Movember":

and for the road, a couple of my personnal favourites..

and my all time favourite...

SPIKE JONZE RULES.

2009-10-28T10:42:00.001-07:00

His famous "Invisible Skateboard" video was awesome, and so were where the wild things are, the sweet backwards pharcyde video, and the many many more music vids and short films, but i think this is top 5 for me.
HOW did he do this?Is this shit really exploding?And if it is, would YOU trust spike enough to skate through this?

A 3 Strike Tuesday

2009-10-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with an enormous STYE in my EYE. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's an infection in your eyelid, due to the eyelash folicle being blocked and getting generally angry with you. It hurts, and it looks, well, nasty. Treatment is putting a warm cloth on your eyelid and hangin out like that til it goes away.

(I can't believe i'm putting this picture on the internet.)

This was a big "strike 1" on my Tuesday morning. I decided to wear my comfy size XL jogging pants because I was feeling terribly sorry for myself for having to wake up at 3:30 with a large painful, ugly-red-thing on my eye. I basically work in a cave for the first 4.5 hours of my shift, so i figured it was acceptable attire until I was off air at 9am. Then I would change.
The universe, however, had other plans. As soon as I got into my car and turned the first corner, I sprayed hot coffee all over said joggers.
Is this the universes way of telling me that no matter how nasty i feel, and no matter how early i get up, jogging pants in public are a big no-no?!

If there universe WAS trying to tell me something- i ignored it. which can't be a good thing. This was a large "strike 2" on my morning. "Strike 3" was icing on the cake. Because i was running a little late, I ran into my morning commute NEMESIS. It comes in the form of a 1980's Itasca Sunrise. (not unlike this photo). it's got veterans plates, and NEVER goes above 50km/hour. It's terribly annoying considering there is nowhere to pass it safely, and I only run into it when i'm running a ew minutes late. 4:20am road rage is an ugly thing.

Right now i'm on air with the morning show, and quite happy knowing I had my 3 stikes of SUCK for the day already and it's only 6:30am.

INDOCTRINATION...BAD?

2009-09-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

The other night I was at my first Canucks game of the season. I am a huge hockey fan and eat, sleep and breathe Canucks for a good part of the year. In front of us, sat two young boys. One in an Oilers jersey, one in a Canucks jersey. Obviously the kid in the Canucks jersey was cuter, and between you and me, looked far more intelligent. Anyways, what was my point? Oh yes, indoctrination. Definition here. I had a little debate with my friend about the jerseys. (Incidentally, we decided afterwards that having this debate in front, or rather, directly behind these kids and their parents AT the game, was rather inapropriate, but that's really here nor there) So, my friend believes that by putting a child in a jersey, or a onesie displaying team colours/logo such as this little number:

It is not respecting their right to choose which team they actually want to cheer for. It puts us in a power position of deciding for them who is worthy or their support. Now although I completely uderstand why in principal this is wrong, I dare you to deny the cute factor of these booties:

and I find it incomparable to indoctrinating other types of beliefs. (religion, politics etc) I was very lucky to have a mother who made it clear that these were my decisions to make in life, and am forever grateful to her for letting me find my own way in those regards. So here's the bottom line: My friend is right, but i don't feel like supporting a sports team is in the same category as the bigger questions in life, and furthermore there is a small window for this cute factor and I feel like especially at a very young age, there is probably no harm in dressing them in Canucks jerseys and such, taking a ton of pictures, only to keep them for years so down the road when your child has decided on their own that they loooove the Leafs, (bleck) you can torcher them with said pictures for your enjoyment. Thoughts on this? Am I weak of will and mind? Corporate Whore?

A few more for the road:

and a whole other debate...

Soul Pancake, and other inter-gems...

2009-09-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

I am training someone today at work who needs no training, which means for 3 hours i get to hang out on the interwebs, guilt free. I've spent most of that time this morning at Soul Pancake. If you're planning on wasting time on the internet, this is a great place to do it. Unlike the old faves LOL cats and fail blog, and my new favourite total waste of time, Texts from Last Night, Soul Pancake is a place where people go to ask and answer many of lifes big questions. It offers food for thought (mmm pancakes) and creativity to boot.

One more before I go. The Hype Machine is great. The greatest feature is that when you search for an artist it shows you when or if that artist is in your area, and where they are playing. It's really thorough too!

I'm outta words for now.

The Most Wonderful Thing

2009-08-16T10:14:00.001-07:00

Two of the most incredible people in the world just did something amazing. They had a baby girl. My dear dear friends just spent an entire day bringing her into this world.
I can't explain the joy this brings me. (i am of course, going to try though)
I believe it's partly due to the fact that I've watched my friend grow from a sometimes angst ridden, grimy teenaged boy into a wonderful friend, husband, and now father! His wife is a rock of a woman, with wisdom coming out of her ears, and i truly believe that together, they are unstoppable.
Almost a year ago now, another friend of mine brought a baby boy into the world. i was overjoyed then too. i think though, that i'm even more excited this time, because i've had the chance now to understand (as much as an aunty with no kids of her own can) just what a profound event it is to have a child.
Now it's time to Celebrate!!!!

Gran Paparazzi

2009-08-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.granpaparazzi.com/

These people are genius. This is absolutely my favourite blog to follow right now. I've always loved the amazing style that many seniors carry with them from the days when every man and woman had a few good hats, and they knew the value of a well taylored suit.

Check it out!

Morning glory

2009-07-29T08:59:00.001-07:00

I was never that girl. Even as a semi angst-ridden teen, I never felt
the need to stay up late or sleep in late. It's just not in my nature.
I am a great sleeper in fact I've often wished there was a job in
which I could put this talent to use! "professional sleeper" at your
service. You need me to sleep through a concert? Done. Sleep trough
multiple alarms, fall asleep mid party, within 1 minute of closing my
eyes? Sure thing! People say I must have nothing on my conscience.
Perhaps they are right, although I think it's more a matter of being
constantly sleep deprived.
Back now though to the matter at hand. My ode to the morning. While
most people are wiping sleep out there eyes, I am soaking in the
stillness of the morning, the freshness of the air the clarity of my
mind. On a summers morning the air is cool, comfortable before the
heat of the day sets in. And rhe thing I love most, is the solitude.
Sure, there are often a few other people about, but those few are
nothing compared to the chaos that comes with a million people in rush
hour. Bleck.
Thank goodness for small towns in the morning- mornings at camp, or on
a body of water. Thank goodness for early alarm clocks which enable me
to enjoy this time... and thank GOODNESS for coffee.

Sent from my iPhone

Fruesday & Fronday

2009-07-28T12:38:00.000-07:00

My work week is Friday- Tuesday. This makes 'Fronday' is my Monday 'Fruesday' is my Friday. Fronday always comes fast and furious after my mid-week weekend. (pardon?) I know, it's a little ridiculous, and one day I will joing the big kids who work Monday to Friday, 9-5. One day I will go on camping trips with friends and enjoy concerts without dreading my early morning wakeups.
Don't get me wrong- my job is amazing, and my work week fly's by each week, and i belly laugh each and every day at least once.
i still want weekends off. Sue me.
e

HAYYY! BAM! (sun cures blues)

2009-07-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

Know what? i haven't figured anything out since my last post, regarding school, etc - but it's sunny, so i'm feeling much better now.
My mom has recently told me that she's selling up and travelling the world this coming year. "my freedom 55".
I am SO proud of her. So happy for her. So nervous for her! What a crazy ride.
it's something she needs to do, and i willsupport her any way i can, every step of the way.
I LOOOOOVE you momma!

FUNKY TOWN... IN A BAD WAY

2009-07-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

Sooo, i've been in a funk. This doesn't happen to me very often, so i'm not the greatest at dealing with it. Among my worries in Funktyown there is education, family, and employment.

I'm gonna go ahead and ask for it. I need a manual. I will pay a decent sum for it, as the correct guidelines could save me thousands in tuition, college funds, and re-training. I am also willing to trade my scooter for it, (less than 100km's) or my bass guitare, which i haven't personally used for more than 3 hours.

If the manual of life does exist, and someone is holding out on me, I swear i will sneak into your home and steal all your left socks and put tiny holes in your shoes.

Srsly.

Bio Dad Update

2009-06-29T05:43:00.001-07:00

SIMPLE:
I found out his name is Brad L. Now i'm being a total wuss and not doing anything.
I still really only know his first name, and it's all quite overwhelming.

5 things i'm not ready to do for the environment: A Confession

2009-06-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

For over 20 years now, I've been on sort of a personnal mission. The Reduce Reuse Recycle Mission. I know that recyling won't help end world hunger, or even guarantee that the planet will see another century, but if nothing if it does nothing else, it makes me feel better to show old mother nature a little respect.
I'm always on the look out for new ways to reduce my consumption, (because believe me- i've got a long way to go) but there are still a few things that i'm not quite ready to do.

5) Make My Own Soap.
It's complicated. There are many, many, many articles that tell me why it's not, and yet it still involves buying molds and melting things and i'm just not interested, because in the end it's MUCH easier for me to support some local soap maker and cough up 5 bucks. (I don't do my own taxes anymore either- there are experts for a reason)

4) Regularly Bike to Work.
I start at 4:30am. This means in order to get to work by 4 (I would need to shower, rather, my co-workers would need me to shower) I would have to leave at 3:15. This means up at 2:45 at the latest, and honestly- i'm already go to bed at 8:00pm, and can not fathom getting to bed any earlier. Sorry, Earth. Emma needs her sleep.

3) Recycle mah pee.
Catching my pee in a little container to mix with H2O, and then feed to my plants just reminds me of collecting urine samples for the doctor. I also don't have that many plants. I understand that Urine is actually hard on the sewage system, but until we get "urine seperation toilets" over here in canada, i will not be participating in the fun.

2) Recycling T.P.
Yes, you read right, and no, i will not be joining this party either. Many articles i've read about it say it's just like using reusable baby wipes.
...
really.
really?
I find that hard to believe.
We'll think of something better... I know we will. But while i'm on the subject- can someone please make recycled t.p. SUCK LESS? For almost DOUBLE the price shouldn't it be great?

1) Quit my job an produce documentaries about amazing people doing amazing things for the planet.
I'm chicken. For now.

xox
e

BALL DROPPING AND A NEWSIE RANT.

2009-06-02T06:19:00.000-07:00

snap. ball officially dropped. granted, it could have been a lot worse. this whole "working every day and functioning on 6 hours or less" thing is almost over. and not a minute too soon. last friday i scrambled to get my ass to work for 4:30am, only to find i wasn't even scheduled for the morning shift. awesome. then this morning i killed my alarm clock and overslept an hour. (it was amazing to sleep in until 4:30am. for real.)
people who know me well, know i do not thrive on schedules like this. i am a creature of habit, and i thrive on routine. working everyday is slowly breaking my spirit... i can be such a whiney bitch, can't i?! but seriously- it's getting comical... i've forgotten my house keys at work twice, lost my pass for work countless times, and misplaced my coffee mug about 4 times/day. thank god i don't have children right now.
The light at the end of the tunnel is this friday! The weekend of weddings starts with liv and dan on friday, the julianne and andrew on saturday...
then a week of relaxation with the best guy in the world, surrounded by wine.
sweet, sweet bliss.
hopefully it's enough to rejuvenate my broken spirit.

In other news... sometimes i wish i didn't work in news. as i'm sure you have heard, unless you live in a cave- not that there's anything wrong with that- an air france flight went down yesterday. all 200+ people presumed dead. this seems to happen an awful lot. i just don't think flying is a safe as we're made to believe... i've heard the whole "you're more likely to be hit by a bus" comparison (beautiful visuals by the way) but i feel as though as have more control over the bus thing, than the flight thing...
and another thing about news- they are now reporting a 3rd canadian has died from the swine flu. the reality is that all three of these people had previous health problems, and the H1N1 virus didn't help!! I'd love to think that people out there are smart enough to think for themselves, but the truth is, people take the news as truth- which it SHOULD be, and yes, it's technically true that people who had swine flu died, it is not true that the flu was the main cause of their death.
*sigh*

working hard, gettin older

2009-05-25T22:02:00.000-07:00

i think my last day off was... wait... nope, don't remember. The next one will be Friday, June 05th 2009. i have a crush on that day. You should hear the way i say it- soooo sweetly.
Before this thing called "Children's Telethon" entered my life i used to be a real birthday person. I'd have countdowns, and invite all the people who warm my heart to eat drink and be merry to celebrate that my clutzy ass made it another whole year on this earth. The last two years, however, my birthday has fallen right smack in the middle of helping to produce a 12 hour piece of television, on top of working my normal 40hour/week.
yowza.
bust out the grumpy pants.

here's the thing though. i have an amazing partner in crime who knows how much i love to party like an 8 year old, and he's taken up the slack and planned birthday bowling. just when i thought i couldn't fall more in love...
sigh...
grumpy pants off. birthday suit officially on.
(best bear ev-ar)
(?!?!)

Bio Dad Update

2009-05-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

Through the help of my friend, Nancy Drew, I managed to track down an old friend of my moms who, it turns out dated Bio Dad before my mom did. (Before my mom got to town, and they became buddies). Awesome. Sheryl has been amazing, and told me more about Bio Dad then i ever thought i would know.
Apparently I look like him.
mind was blown...
WOAH! (That's a joey lawrence woah)
She gave me a wonderful description of him, and told me his name was Brad.
again. mind blown...
What a gift she's given me!
I'm not getting my hopes up for any sort of reunion. Even if i could track him down i'm really not sure what i'd say to him. I thinks that's cause i'm not sure what i want from him. The only thing i'm sure of is that i want to see his face. And did you see 30 Rock the last two weeks? What if he needs a kidney or something? or he thinks i need one? these things can get complicated quickly, and i'm really quite happy with my life at the moment.
These are all questions i need to answer over the next weeks and months.
No rush here.
Baby steps.

Slap Chop? Try Rap Chop.

2009-05-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

This is probably old news to some people, but i gotta post and enjoy a few more times until i'm over it.
You know the "Sham Wow" guy? Cmon. I know you do.

Vince has now made a career outta infomercials. He does a great job promoting the slap chop, but i think this would probably sell a lot more.
The Rap Chop:

Belly dancing

2009-05-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

Thursday nights for the next few Thursdays will be known as "Shake yer thang Thursdays"
No, i didn't get an extra job stripping again. I rounded up the Avery ladies and convinced them to join me in a belly dancing class! The belly dancing was fun on it's own but the wine and quality family time were icing on the cake. Although i'm actually sore from learning to shoulder shimmy and hip shimmy, i can't wait to see what we'll learn next week! Maybe i'll even get up the nerve to try a hip belt with coins...
ching ching ching chi-ching.
Pretty soon i'll be shakin it like this:

...ok, maybe not exactly like that... she's all like "no big deal, i dance with chandeliers on my head...what? you don't?"

wow.
talk about a party trick.
sign me up.

Scooty Mc Scoot-Scoot

2009-05-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

That's me. Or, it was me about 4 or 5 years ago. I had a wee Honda Jazz scooter. It was my very first vehicle, and it was really fucking dangerous. We'll put it down to the old "user error". I would regularly pile my sim board, and an extra passenger on it, and truck down to the beach, over the lions gate. You will never be SO acutely aware of the cross breeze on that bridge as when you're on it on a scoot.
I also drove it all winter. Across north shore bridges and up to grouse mountain (icy roads and all) every day for 6am.
i know. FAIL. speaking of a safety fail:
Scooter fail.
ahahahaha.

Anyhow, the reason i'm re-visiting my wild and crazy days as scooter owner, is because my insurance is coming up in June for my car, and it's gonna cost a fortune. (or about $2300.00, which is my version of a fortune.)
Scooters are bomb for spring and summer, but not so hot in the rain.

Scooter pros:
Cheeeeap!
Sweet for city driving and parking.
Cheeeeap!
I can play "Mod" when i feel the need. (?!)
ummm...
Cheap again...
It's fun times. Really.
And of course, environmentally friendly

Scoot Cons
It totally sucks it in the rain
Not only does it feel sucky in the rain, you look like a total tool.
It's danger bay in the rain.
Actually, it's danger bay all the time.
No highway. Most scoots max out at 60km/hr
2 words: HELMET HEAD.

Hmmm...Aren't lists supposed to help in decision making? I'll probably end up just flipping a coin.

Damn it, i just can't

2009-04-26T14:00:00.001-07:00

i really wanted to write about the bigger issues today. About making composting more accessible for apartment dwellers, and how happy i am that it's getting easier to live by the three "r"'s of recycling... but right now all i can think about is this dang crick in my neck. It's SO incredibly painful. (whinge, whiiiiiine, etc) i'm day dreaming of A535, Traumeel, and the hottest shower i can take without getting 1st degree burns.
And some wine.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE THE AXE OUTTA MAH NECK?
i'll give you a cookie.

New diggs. I'm Posessed

2009-04-17T09:17:00.001-07:00

Ok. Not really posessed, (have you seen the exorcist lately? Some of the images in that movie still scare the SHIT out of me!) but we did take posession on our new home yesterday, and it feeeeeels great! The move, coupled with Canucks Playoff Hockey, is making for a sweet sweet spring.

oh gawd, still have exorcist images in my head... think happy thoughts...

like this...

The first photo of the first hour at the new diggs. Next step: paint
and art!!
Yea art!

Bio-Dad #1

2009-04-13T06:39:00.000-07:00

Mission:

The almost impossible task of finding my biological father.

Why? Curiosity, that's all.

The Facts:

He lived in Dawson City for the Summer of 1980 (it's small!)

He worked odd jobs to get by

He was young- about 18/19

He was blond

They hooked up after the infamous Outhouse Races:

...Honestly that's it. It was a one night thing (that's all it takes!) and we don't even know his name.

The Plan:

Ask mum more questions to jog her memory (people are a lot easier to find if you know their name)

Contact family friend who was with mum that summer.

Maybe take a trip up North to see this:

a few things

2009-04-05T20:39:00.001-07:00

1. it was sunny today and i managed to get my arse out to the beach to share a glass of wine with mum, (not seen here) this is actually a really weak picture of the sunset from my car...

2. i finally found an purdy piece of art to hang in the new digs, but went back the next day to purchase it and someone had already made off with it... i snoozed and i losed... i think i actually mourned it a bit. here she is:

3. i picked up a new shirt in honour of my lovely room mate mel:

4. i really like ducks and walk to see them almost every weekend lunch hour, but most geese are mean:

5. it's way past my bed time.
6. i'm starting up the search for bio dad, which will be verrrry interesting considering his last known whereabouts was dawson city, 1980, and we don't know his name...
much more to come on that.

omg sick.

2009-03-30T17:13:00.000-07:00

i am a sicky. too sick to post a proper note, but not so sick that i can not pose a quick question.

It's actually on a sort of break-up protocol.
The background:
I received a framed drawing from a ex in 2004. It's been with me, on my wall in each place i've lived (believe me, there have been many) ever since. I've never particularly loved it, but more used to love it because he made it.
I'm about to move again- this time, into a new home for the first time with my partner.
So, now that we haven't spoken in almost 2 years and won't speak anytime in the near future, is it wrong to donate it to the sally anne? Especially with a "For emma, with love, ____." written on the back?
Or is is simply time to move on?

e

Spwing Has Spwung, Craigslist is Plentiful

2009-03-23T05:42:00.000-07:00

Spring has sprung. Finally. And with the arrival of spring comes the exciting task of spring cleaning. The amazing time of year when we clear out all the junk we've accumulated over the past year, and try to pawn it off on craigslist. What a wonderful feeling.

Check out these gems i found this morning:

Rare - Sea Captain's Lamp Stand - $895 (Langley, B.C.)

(an absolute steal in my opinion at $895) (?!?!?!WTF!?!?!)

Too expensive for your blood? How about this "Angel/Roman Clock" for only $30?!

I wonder if this was a gift, or just a momentary lack of judgement...
Van Gogh Dinnerware for 4! NEW in BOX........ - $65 (vancouver)

Anyway, welcome to my new favourite passtime, "Craiglisting" it's like "Garage Sailing" for lazy people.

Happy Spring!

JOB FAIRS ... ... AWKWARD.

2009-03-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

I attended a job fair held by a local youth employment office yesterday- not to actually look for a job. I was curious about who is actually still hiring in this economic downturn, and who was actually searching for a job.
The answer to the second part of that question is EVERYONE. I saw people who looked old enough to be grandparents, and people who were still in highschool. How scary would that be?! You're 16 and your parents give you the 'money doesn't grow on trees' speech for the 70th time, only this time they cut off your allowance, give you the number to the local employment centre, and send you on your way. You're SUPER nervous, and when you show up, you're competing with this guy for jobs:

...
Most of us have, at one point in our lives, been forced to attend a job fair. On paper, the idea is brilliant. Go to one place, with 20 copies of your resume, and drop them all off at once. A great time saver for both employee and employer.
What isn't translated to the brilliant paper plan is the awkwardness of the whole thing. Selling yourself is hard enough 1 on 1, let alone in front of 10 other job-thirsty-seekers hudling around the table.
Thank god i'm still gainfully employed...For now.

Tim Hortons Rrroll Up the Rim: YOU LOSE

2009-03-17T06:17:00.000-07:00

Does rolling up the rim piss anyone else off, or am i a bigger hippy than i thought i was? You know what happens when you bring in your portable mug to timmy during the roll up the rim campaign? they say "great, 10cents off yer coffee m'am. here's a cup to throw away." WTF. I'm bringing in my reusable cup for a reason lady. Know what they say when i say i don't need the cup? that it will mess up their "count". who cares that it's a TOTAL WASTE OF PRODUCTS AND A STRAIN ON THE ENVIRONMENT! Was "reduce, reuse, recycle" just an early 90's FAD?

Time for something or other..

2009-03-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

People with kids always say they don't know what they did with all their spare time before they procreated... I'm wondering what i do with all my time too.
There are some people whose homes are always spotless, and their lunches are always packed. They have gifts for upcoming birthdays and clothes picked out for special occasions...
Then there's me.
Always feeling rushed, and behind. I constantly have the feeling that I have an assignment due. (No, i'm not in school, but i know that feeling all too well).
What am I doing?
Someone asked me last night if i knit the sweater i was wearing. HA!!! The fact is, I probably would have the time if i wasn't blogging, or learning how to use my new iphone or visiting friends or eating or playing outside...

btw... the image above is of a t shirt for toddlers. it's called "busy schedule" . It's hard being 3.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.wireandtwine.com/img/products/busy/prod-busy.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.wireandtwine.com/store/products/busy.html&usg=__YnKkDGbcY74bERLjI7FZx1X4WNI=&h=400&w=480&sz=35&hl=en&start=7&um=1&tbnid=MluWDV_29mIMwM:&tbnh=108&tbnw=129&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbusy%26hl%3Den%26rls%3Dcom.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox%26rlz%3D1I7ADBF%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1

things to do when you're sick

2008-11-26T10:29:00.001-08:00

drink tea.
watch a movie
check facebook
sleep
feed the cat, make tea while you're up.
watch you tube videos
eat ginger (bleck)
sleep
watch movie
sleep
drink 75th cup of tea

repeat.