Sunday, May 16, 2010
Etymologically Speaking...
I just "stumbled" onto this sweet word origins website and decided that my favourite word today is defnitely Berserk. (AKA: Bear shirt) (yes!)
Berserk most likely comes from the Old Icelandic "berserkr," meaning "bear shirt." This refers to Scandinavian warriors who wore, quite literally, bear shirts which they thought would render them invincible. I believe the Icelandic term evolves from Scandinavian, "bjorn sherkr," but I am not sure.
I have no way of verifying this info- but i want so badly to believe it's true!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Working It Out
Never has the name of this blog been so appropriate as now.
I lost a dear friend two weeks ago, and I am struggling.
I'm struggling with missing him,
with understanding why things happened the way they did,
with living.
without him.
struggling to fill the hole in my heart left by his absence.
Now, if that sounds hopelessly depressing, it has been
but i am making progress.
working through it.
seeing blips of light and love in this darkness.
the tears still come in waves.
tsunami waves of emotion.
of love.
of despair.
of longing.
of emptiness,
of
of
of...
i miss you too, devon.
I lost a dear friend two weeks ago, and I am struggling.
I'm struggling with missing him,
with understanding why things happened the way they did,
with living.
without him.
struggling to fill the hole in my heart left by his absence.
Now, if that sounds hopelessly depressing, it has been
but i am making progress.
working through it.
seeing blips of light and love in this darkness.
the tears still come in waves.
tsunami waves of emotion.
of love.
of despair.
of longing.
of emptiness,
of
of
of...
i miss you too, devon.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Financial Woes...Woah!
The way i see it, I've never been that great with money. It has always fallen in the same category as THINGS. I lose things. Easily and often, because I truthfully just see them as stuff (a. Unspecified material, or b)Worthless objects). This is both good (because i am not attached to material things) and terribly bad, (because sometimes the stuff i lose is very important to other people). The common theme here though, is a lack of aknowledgement of VALUE. To me, money is just money and there will always be enough one way or another, and THINGS are completely replaceable, because there will always be enough money, somewhere somehow to replace the things I have lost. I have often lost things, because I don't acknowledge their value.
Wasteful cycle.
I'm getting to the bottom of it slowly though.
MISTAKES MISTAKES MISTAKES
When i was a kid, we didn't have a lot of money- so when I got my first job at 16- all I could think of was spreading the wealth with friends that didn't have it- because i knew how it felt to want. it also felt great to be able to help someone else- even if it meant i was left wanting again before long.
When i went traveling, i'd run out of money, and max out my $500 limit credit card. i'd randomly keep trying it even though i knew it should be maxed, but it kept working. Unbeknownst to me, my grandparents were getting the bills back home, and paying off the card. They were trying to help, but it just strengthened that belief that money will always come from someone/somewhere when needed. No value.
Then i went to school, with help from EI. No student loans, just a minimal line of credit to help with odds and ends that EI didn't pay for- When school was done and it was time to pay off my line of credit- Grandma and grandpa, I'm embarrassed to say, decided to pay it off for me. How could i say no? Did I mention they also helped me buy me first vehicle, a scooter, and then bought be a brand new car for school.
I was spoiled financially and it has ruined my outlook on money and how one ought to be with finances.
Making more money hasn't helped either. I have just bought whatever i wanted. because i have money in RSP's, and give to charity, i've lied to myself about my financial situation-in reality if I lost my job tomorrow, i'd be screwed if I didn't find a job straight away! there is no "emergency fund" for mortgage payments and bills.
I am airing this dirty laundry because i am making a vow to do something about this. No more eating out 4 times/week. no more buying all organic groceries. no more shopping for new must have clothes. or thrift shopping for that matter. I HAVE SO MANY CLOTHES. SOOOOOO MANY CLOTHES.
Truthfully- I don't even KNOW where all my money goes! (Not gonna lie- beer probly plays a role in this mystery) So it is my first responsibility to write these things down.
wish me luck.
Wasteful cycle.
I'm getting to the bottom of it slowly though.
MISTAKES MISTAKES MISTAKES
When i was a kid, we didn't have a lot of money- so when I got my first job at 16- all I could think of was spreading the wealth with friends that didn't have it- because i knew how it felt to want. it also felt great to be able to help someone else- even if it meant i was left wanting again before long.
When i went traveling, i'd run out of money, and max out my $500 limit credit card. i'd randomly keep trying it even though i knew it should be maxed, but it kept working. Unbeknownst to me, my grandparents were getting the bills back home, and paying off the card. They were trying to help, but it just strengthened that belief that money will always come from someone/somewhere when needed. No value.
Then i went to school, with help from EI. No student loans, just a minimal line of credit to help with odds and ends that EI didn't pay for- When school was done and it was time to pay off my line of credit- Grandma and grandpa, I'm embarrassed to say, decided to pay it off for me. How could i say no? Did I mention they also helped me buy me first vehicle, a scooter, and then bought be a brand new car for school.
I was spoiled financially and it has ruined my outlook on money and how one ought to be with finances.
Making more money hasn't helped either. I have just bought whatever i wanted. because i have money in RSP's, and give to charity, i've lied to myself about my financial situation-in reality if I lost my job tomorrow, i'd be screwed if I didn't find a job straight away! there is no "emergency fund" for mortgage payments and bills.
I am airing this dirty laundry because i am making a vow to do something about this. No more eating out 4 times/week. no more buying all organic groceries. no more shopping for new must have clothes. or thrift shopping for that matter. I HAVE SO MANY CLOTHES. SOOOOOO MANY CLOTHES.
Truthfully- I don't even KNOW where all my money goes! (Not gonna lie- beer probly plays a role in this mystery) So it is my first responsibility to write these things down.
wish me luck.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
The Life I Can Save?
I recently read a book recommended to me by my longtime friend Nathan. He's really a wonderful human being and sometimes he has interesting things to say, or at least can direct you to someone elses interesting things.
The book he recommended is about donating to charity. Specifically the who, what when where why and how of charitable donations. It is called "The Life You Can Save", written by Peter Singer.
There it is! I signed a pledge today. Through their website To donate at least 1% of my income this year. Believe me, it's not a lot, and hopefully it will do some good in this world. Just a lil bit. :)
I've decided to donate the rest of this years quota to The Central Asia Institute. I'm not gonna lie, i think their name sounds dodgy- but it's a wonderful charity. Greg Mortensen ('Stones into Schools') And his team are truly shaping the future of Pakistan and Afghanistan by building schools in remote central asian areas
"Peace and Hope Begin With Education: One Child At A Time
Central Asia Institute is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization with the mission to promote and support community-based education, especially for girls, in remote regions of northern Pakistan and Afghanistan. "
- Central Asia Institute
I dig it.
The book he recommended is about donating to charity. Specifically the who, what when where why and how of charitable donations. It is called "The Life You Can Save", written by Peter Singer.
There it is! I signed a pledge today. Through their website To donate at least 1% of my income this year. Believe me, it's not a lot, and hopefully it will do some good in this world. Just a lil bit. :)
I've decided to donate the rest of this years quota to The Central Asia Institute. I'm not gonna lie, i think their name sounds dodgy- but it's a wonderful charity. Greg Mortensen ('Stones into Schools') And his team are truly shaping the future of Pakistan and Afghanistan by building schools in remote central asian areas
"Peace and Hope Begin With Education: One Child At A Time
Central Asia Institute is a 501(c)3 non-profit organization with the mission to promote and support community-based education, especially for girls, in remote regions of northern Pakistan and Afghanistan. "
- Central Asia Institute
I dig it.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Guess Who finally Drank The Olympic Punch?
Well, well well. Look who's back after a month of hellish work weeks, ACTUAL weekends off, and whole lotta 180 degree opinions on the Olympics. I've done it. i drank the punch and I liked it. i liked it so much that not only do i want more, i readily admit how wrong i was to doubt it's incredible qualities, and even urge others to have a drink.
The crowds... are incredible. Everyone is happy, and wonderfully foreign. People are using transit, and one can only imagine that once they realize how easy it was they will continue to ride it. The streets look cleaner than ever each morning after looking like crap the night before. Pubs are everywhere. People of all backgrounds are on the same Canadian team, and proudly wearing their Canadian colours. I've witnessed the best hockey playing of my life, and we're not even at the Gold Medal game yet.
It HAS cost a lot of money, and most likely, after the olympics, financial support for sport will dwindle once again, and no one will care until we do poorly in medal counts in 2014 (Sochi!). Sad but true. I'll put money on it.
I have taken VERY few photos of my olympic wanderings, but here are a couple:
Me at Grouse: (I randomly decided to spend an afternoon helping out up there... they REALLY didn't need me but it was beautiful)
Me being HI-larious with Kevin:
The flame, in all it's Glory at The convention centre. (there was a 45 min line to see it up close. I passed. )
That's really it in a nutshell.
Some other things that have been on my mind as of late.
Eva
Sewing
Baking
Babies
Love
Love
Love
Family
New Westminster! I love my city!
Now back to Eva.
She was not doing very well for awhile there, and everyday i check her blog, hoping to read that her pager has gone off and she's getting the transplant. She posted this post o n Feb 11th saying she was near the end of the road. it broke my heart, but opened it and the same time. i'm not the only one. Since then there have been literally thousnds of posts in support of her and her loved ones.
Anyhow, I'll post more about the other things another day.
xox
The crowds... are incredible. Everyone is happy, and wonderfully foreign. People are using transit, and one can only imagine that once they realize how easy it was they will continue to ride it. The streets look cleaner than ever each morning after looking like crap the night before. Pubs are everywhere. People of all backgrounds are on the same Canadian team, and proudly wearing their Canadian colours. I've witnessed the best hockey playing of my life, and we're not even at the Gold Medal game yet.
It HAS cost a lot of money, and most likely, after the olympics, financial support for sport will dwindle once again, and no one will care until we do poorly in medal counts in 2014 (Sochi!). Sad but true. I'll put money on it.
I have taken VERY few photos of my olympic wanderings, but here are a couple:
Me at Grouse: (I randomly decided to spend an afternoon helping out up there... they REALLY didn't need me but it was beautiful)
Me trying failing to make a heart out of my olympic mitts
Some other things that have been on my mind as of late.
Eva
Sewing
Baking
Babies
Love
Love
Love
Family
New Westminster! I love my city!
Now back to Eva.
She was not doing very well for awhile there, and everyday i check her blog, hoping to read that her pager has gone off and she's getting the transplant. She posted this post o n Feb 11th saying she was near the end of the road. it broke my heart, but opened it and the same time. i'm not the only one. Since then there have been literally thousnds of posts in support of her and her loved ones.
Anyhow, I'll post more about the other things another day.
xox
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